Control over the outcome

Cost savings

Control over the timing

Privacy

An opportunity to design a settlement agreement that is specific to your family's needs

By choosing divorce mediation, you and your spouse can work things out cooperatively, rather than engaging in an expensive and stressful legal contest.
 

You create your own agreement, rather than allowing others to make decisions for you. The agreement that you design in mediation includes everything that is important to you. In mediation, unlike in court, there are no surprises. The discussion continues until each of you is convinced that the agreement will work for you.

You set the pace. You won't be frustrated by court delays or pressured to meet court-imposed deadlines. Your mediation can proceed as slowly, or as rapidly, as you choose.

You maintain your privacy by staying away from the courthouse. The mediators are responsible for all contacts with the court, so that you can get your divorce negotiated and the paperwork done in an office.

If you have children, the mediators help you design a parenting plan that works for your family. You have time to try out different parenting plans, before you sign an agreement.

Mediation lessens the tension between the two of you and enables you to work together as parents, and even to remain friends, if you wish.

You get your "day in court," a chance to be heard, in a private setting. The mediators listen, and your spouse listens too. Because mediation is focused on the future, everyone searches for solutions, rather than dwelling on the past. The result is a positive process, where you move forward, rather than getting stuck in the past.



 

BENEFITS ​OF MEDIATION

 

If you are contemplating divorce, you and your spouse have an important decision to make. You can either fight for your rights or seek a civilized solution that feels fair to both of you. You can blame each other for past offenses or focus on the future. You can delegate the job to attorneys and judges or ask a mediator to help you design a marital settlement agreement ("MSA") that meets your needs.

If you choose a traditional divorce, you give up control. If you choose mediation, you and your spouse will determine how long the process takes and what goes into your agreement. Even though you may be angry at each other or hurt about things that have happened, a mediator can help you resolve your divorce in a respectful way, if you are willing to put the past behind you.

Some people choose mediation because it protects their privacy. Others choose it because they want to avoid the emotional trauma caused by an adversarial divorce. Still others choose it because they know they will save a great deal of money. By far the most common reason for choosing mediation is a desire to control the outcome of the divorce.

If you choose mediation, you are likely to experience your divorce as a peaceful process, not a financial and emotional disaster. You won't have to deal with the surprises encountered by couples who litigate their divorce, because you will design your own agreement and avoid the courthouse completely.

Your goal in mediation should be to reach a fully informed, voluntary agreement that will stand the test of time. Do not allow yourself to be rushed. You will be making decisions that will affect your life for years to come, so take your time and pay attention to the details.

If you have children, you will create a "parenting plan," with the help of your mediator. Because you will need to revise your plan over time, your mediator may recommend "periodic planning meetings" so that you have a vehicle for making changes in your parenting schedule as your children's needs change.
If you choose mediation, you are likely to experience your divorce as a peaceful process, not a financial and emotional disaster. You won't have to deal with the surprises encountered by couples who litigate their divorce, because you will design your own agreement and avoid the courthouse completely.

Your goal in mediation should be to reach a fully informed, voluntary agreement that will stand the test of time. Do not allow yourself to be rushed. You will be making decisions that will affect your life for years to come, so take your time and pay attention to the details.

If you have children, you will create a "parenting plan," with the help of your mediator. Because you will need to revise your plan over time, your mediator may recommend "periodic planning meetings" so that you have a vehicle for making changes in your parenting schedule as your children's needs change.
 

DIVORCE WITH DIGNITY

© Copyright 2013, Carl R. Vahl